• Step 1 - Getting Started

Both of you retain a separate divorce lawyer that is specially trained in collaborative law (collaborative divorce). The four of you work together to come to a fair agreement without court intervention. (If this isn't possible and the case ends up having to go into litigation, the attorneys are disqualified from continuing the case and you would each need to retain a new attorney to represent you in court.)

• Step 2 - Making a commitment

In collaborative law you both need to sign a "contract"...which is actually more of a promise. It states that you will work together respectfully, honestly, and in good faith to resolve issues and reach agreements beneficial to everyone involved. In this, you also agree to up-front, honest disclosure of all pertinent information and documentation. Believe it or not, this simple piece of paper goes a long way in helping the process go smoothly.

• Step 3 - Building the team

In addition to your attorneys, other collaborative law professionals are commonly added to the team for assistance with emotional, financial, or parenting issues. From financial advisors to coaches to child specialists, these specially trained resources are here to help you keep this process more efficient and effective. (Learn more about the role of each type of professional:

Attorneys , Financial Advisors , Coaches and Child Specialists.

Step 4 - Negotiating a settlement

A series of private meetings are held to resolve all issues, including parenting decisions and division of marital property where applicable. During these meetings, everyone strives to remain civil and respectful to one another, setting aside the tendency to blame, and resisting the impulse to rehash old hurts. And while each attorney is an advocate for his or her client, both ensure that all voices are heard and all needs are considered.

• Step 5 - Moving forward

Once you reach an agreement, your attorneys create legally-binding documents and file them with the courts. This holds all parties accountable to the settlement terms. However, one of the benefits of collaborative law is that you have created the agreement yourselves—it wasn't forced on you—so you're both more likely to abide by it.

Ready to talk?

We will listen. Find a collaborative law professional near you. We can answer all of your questions about this process and whether it's right for you.  Read the Principles and Guidelines for Collaborative Divorce.